Is Marriage obligatory or only recommended?

The ruling on marriage differs according to the situations and circumstances. Marriage is obligatory on the man who is able to marry and longs to get married, and fears “hardship” otherwise, because it is obligatory for him to protect himself from doing haraam deeds (looking at the opposite sex with desire, touching, masturbation, zinaa etc.) and to keep himself chaste – and this can only be achieved through marriage.

To summarize what the fuqaha have mentioned, we can divide the ruling on marrying into six categories:

1) Obligatory (fardh): This is when an individual has an overwhelming level of sexual desire in a way that he/she is CERTAIN of committing fornication (zina), and there is nothing besides marriage to prevent him/her, provided one (the male) has the financial means to marry, and that one does not fear being unjust or oppressive to the spouse.

2) Necessary (wajib): This is when an individual has an overwhelming level of sexual desire in a way that one FEARS committing fornication, or one cannot prevent himself from looking at the unlawful or from masturbation, provided one has the financial means to marry, and that one does not fear being unjust or oppressive to the spouse.

3) Emphasized and confirmed Sunnah (sunnah al-Mu'akkadah). This is for an individual who is in a MODERATE state, in that the sexual desire is not overwhelming as in the above two categories, and one is capable of having sexual intercourse, paying the dowry (mahr) and maintaining a wife. Also, one does not fear being unjust to the spouse and being neglectful of other obligatory acts.

4) Prohibitively disliked (makruh tahriman): This is for an individual who FEARS being unjust or oppressive to the spouse, even if there is an overwhelming level of sexual desire, for the rights of servants are given precedence over the right of Allah.

5) Unlawful (haram): This is when one is CERTAIN of being unjust or oppressive to the spouse, even if there is an overwhelming level of sexual desire.

6) Permissible (mubah): Imam Ibn Abidin (Allah have mercy on him) adds this category quoting from Bahr al-Ra'iq. This is when one's desire is not overwhelming; neither does one fear being unjust to the spouse. However, one marries solely to fulfil one's needs and does not have an intention of implementing the Sunnah, for the reward of Sunnah will only be gained when one has the intention of following it or being chaste. If one marries with the intention of saving one's self from sinning, it will be regarded as an act of Ibadah.

(Shaykh Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari)

If he wants to get married but is unable to spend on a wife, then he should adhere to the words of Allaah:

“And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allâh enriches them of His Bounty” [al-Noor 24:33]

So he should fast a lot, because of the hadeeth narrated from Ibn Mas’ood who said that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young people, whoever among you can afford to get married, let him do so, for it helps one to lower the gaze and protect the private parts (i.e., remain chaste). Whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it is a protection for him.” (Bukhari)