Reading the Arabic of Qur'an but not understanding it ?

Reading the Qur'an but Practising Something Else

There is a prevalent culture among Muslims where they only view the Qur'an as a way of gaining reward for reciting out loud the Arabic words correctly. Such people think that they hold the Qur'an in high esteem, but this only keeps them away from studying the Qur'an as they should. Parents teach their children how to pronounce the Arabic words and send their children to evening schools to learn to recite the Qur'an correctly. Such people do not deny the importance of the Qur'an, but their idea of the role of the Qur'an is extremely mistaken and shallow. It is merely to either gain reward for each letter recited or to validate Salah by reciting some short chapters. Members of this majority group may even enjoy listening to recitations of the Qur'an, not because of the message in the Verses, but to appreciate the melody, or for relaxation purposes!

What Islam is, is merely everything else they hear outside of the Qur'an. Such people consider themselves highly religious, while they hold such an ignorant approach to the Qur'an. They recite the Qur'an frequently, but the recitation does not have any bearing on them. Then, they take all their religious guidance from outside the Qur'an - they think those practices amount to fulfilling their duty to the Qur'an. Many of such ignorant people's ideas and practices are even against what the Qur'an has to say, while they are not aware of it - or are aware of it but deliberately ignore thinking about it, laying excuses such as 'I am not knowledgeable enough' or 'I am a laymen, more knowledgeable people have said this, who are you and me to question?'

The real purpose of the Qur'an is to give guidance to the individual human being who has been created to worship Allah. The Qur'an's guidance is in its meanings, not in the pronunciations of its Arabic letters. The guidance of the Qur'an is a mercy, cure and light for the true believers as it reveals many unknown secrets such as Allah's power, reasons to happening of events around us, and the true nature of Allah's religion. The Qur'an has been necessarily made easy to understand. But this majority have been bereft from this blessing, all while they are deceived into thinking they are following religion perfectly as they are fulfilling their own idea of what the purpose of the Qur'an is.

"We have sent down to you a Book containing your message. Do you not understand?" (Qur’an 21:10)

Thinking one is fulfilling their obligations toward the Qur'an by simply carrying out rituals such as prayer and fasting, without making the effort to find out what the Qur'an actually says about religion is a great deception. This is because the Qur'an is a Book to reflect upon, to learn from and to gain the necessary insight and wisdom it gives to be a real believer, this is a duty upon anyone who wants to be a Muslim. One cannot possibly be a true Muslim without having necessary knowledge and understanding of the Qur'an. If one only learns about the Qur’an from books written about the Qur’an, written by people, and does not feel the necessity to learn from the Qur’an directly himself, he is only deceiving himself. Allah mentions this ignorant approach in the words, “Or do you have another book which you study?” (Qur’an 68:39).



Worship based on make-believing that Qur'an is being followed in the flow of the majority and under blind trust of leaders without a personal attachment to the Qur'an and knowledge of the Qur'an, holds little or no value in Allah's sight.


Let us ask ourselves: how much do we know about the Qur'an? Not superficial knowledge like the number of chapters or verses, or which city a chapter was revealed in, but the message in its Verses and their many intricacies and secrets. How much wisdom have you gained from the Qur'an? Have you read the entire Qur'an even once in your own language? How many times a day do you refer to the Verses of the Qur'an as you lead your day to day life? Are you sure whether any of your outlooks are from the Qur'an, or is your religion muddled?

“The words of your Lord are complete in its truth and justice. Nothing can change His Words – He is the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing. If you obeyed most of those on earth, they would lead you away from the path of Allah. They follow nothing but speculation – they are merely guessing.” (Qur’an 6:115-116)

"This too, is a blessed Book which We have sent down – follow it, and be conscious of your Lord, so that you may receive mercy – lest you say, ‘Books were sent to two communities before us: we were not aware of what they studied’, or ‘if only the Book had been sent down to us, we would have been better guided than them.’ Now your Lord has brought you clear evidence, guidance, and mercy. Who could be more wrong than someone who rejects Allah’s Revelations and turns away from them? We shall repay those who turn away with a painful punishment." (Qur’an 6:155-157)

It is clear that being heedless of the Qur'an will lead to losses in this life and the Hereafter as Allah will call all people into account their level of adherence to the Qur'an.

“Surely, the One who decreed the Qur’an to you will summon you to a predetermined appointment. Say: 'My Lord is fully aware of who it is that brings the guidance, and who has gone astray.' " (Qur’an 28:85)

As stated in the verse, all people are responsible for adhering to the way of life decreed by Allah in the Qur'an. Without direct knowledge of the Verses, practising alleged claims about the Qur'an and following the majority, may not have any value in the sight of Allah.

Many people who do not have any Quranic insight or wisdom spread claims about the Qur'an's verses which are a far cry from the verses' true meanings. They usually get away with it as their audience have also been conditioned to simply follow 'sayings' about the Qur'an, rather than the Qur'an.

It is only when one opens his eyes and begins to comprehend the Verses of Allah, can he begin to follow the Book of Allah and hope to become a true Muslim.

"...Indeed there has come to you from Allah a Light and a Clear Book. With it Allah guides whoever follows His good pleasure to the ways of peace and brings them out from the darkness into the light by His permission: He guides them onto a straight path" (Qur'an 5:15-16)

That is why all Muslims must consider their position in religion in relation to the Qur'an. Reciting the Qur'an without a sincere effort to understand the verses directly will not enlighten the human soul.

Forgiving others

It never ceases to amaze me that Allah can inspire so much fear in our hearts when we reflect on His supremacy, yet his mercy is equally as vast as His dominion. Allah tells us in a Hadith Qudsi (sacred narration of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): “O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you” (Al-Tirmidhi). Subhan’Allah (Glory be to Allah) there is no limit to Allah’s forgiveness, even though our mistakes are numerous.

But what’s disheartening is how seldom we are able to forgive each other and how often we are impetuously intolerant toward one another. Islam teaches us that the strongest of servants are those who not only have the strength to suppress their anger when they are tested but also possess an immeasurable capacity to forgive. The Prophet ﷺ said that: “Whoever suffers an injury and forgives (the person responsible), God will raise his status to a higher degree and remove one of his sins” (Al-Tirmidhi). If we can sincerely forgive those who anger us, inwardly and outwardly, then that cleanses our souls from the shaytan (satan) and his negative energy. It is important to disregard vain criticisms and this is the first step toward being tolerant. Of course, this is not done without difficulty because it is hard to understand why those who have caused us grievances wanted to do so in the first place. But this is where the battle with our inner self can take a positive turn and allow us to elevate our iman (faith). This inner struggle is what the Prophet ﷺ called “The Greater Jihad” because it involves tolerance and fighting the evil within ourselves in order to purify our hearts. This is always done for the sake of Allah and to purify our spiritual conditions.

Islam also teaches us that the best kind of forgiveness is answering the oppression of others with kindness. The Prophet ﷺ inspired us with this practice when he said to his followers: “God had ordered me to maintain ties with those who sever ties with me, and to give to those who deprive me, and to forgive those who oppress me.”

The Prophet ﷺ and his companions were so merciful in their conduct that instead of becoming angry with their offenders, they defended them and gave them gifts. What immeasurable acts of compassion. They went beyond human altruism and practiced unmatched generosity. They demonstrated that when we open our hearts and pardon others, we are granting ourselves an inner peace. This is how we can prevent spite from suffocating our hearts, which is crucial because hatred has the ability to make us internally ill. We think that hatred is a means of revenge against those who have harmed us, but by begrudging them we are only harming ourselves. This is because our enemies will never feel our anger, and they live contently as we suffer. When we forgive others, it brings relief to our souls because it is a kind of liberating release. This is because when someone has upset us, they have a power over us because we allowed them to do so.

Life is short. Let us not waste our energy on being angry at our enemies and seeking revenge against them. If we can progressively minimize our spite every day, then soon we will bear no hatred or malice in our hearts, insha’Allah (God willing). This is how we can end conflict amongst ourselves, since it is a day to day issue we face. After all, sometimes our own actions can provoke another person’s wrong doings and we may not be aware of how we contributed to the conflict. We tend to judge the faults of others, while being blind to our own. We forget how we have wronged others, and we only remember how others have wronged us. In the same manner, we forget the good things that others have done for us, and remember only the good that we have done for them. It is an innate human error. But let us try to remember our own shortcomings before we reflect on the shortcomings of others. Let us stop victimizing ourselves and think about how we have victimized others, and then seek their forgiveness. And if they ask our forgiveness, let us always grant it to them. Because the Prophet ﷺ taught us that: “Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy” (Al-Bukhari). And we must keep in mind that however we treat others is how Allah will treat us.

So insha’Allah when someone hurts us, let us try to meet their oppression with kindness and forgive them, even if they are not sorry.

Source: http://www.suhaibwebb.com/ummah/forgiveness-and-tolerance-in-islam/

Want Allah to Forgive You? Forgive Others -Sheikh Salman al-Oadah

If we want Allah to forgive us, we should be forgiving of others and willing to overlook their wrongs. This is part of what it means to be good to others. Allah describes his believing servants as “those who restrain their anger and are pardoning towards people.” He then says: “Indeed, Allah loves those who do good.” [Sūrah Āl `Imrān: 134] 

Indeed, Allah says: “And let not those of you who possess wealth and abundance swear against giving to the near of kin and the poor and those who have had to emigrate for Allah’s sake. They should forgive and forebear. Do you not love that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.” [Sūrah al-Nūr: 22] 

Righteous deeds of all kinds bring us closer to Allah, but especially kindness to others. We should show kindness to all creatures as well as to human beings, whether this kindness comes in the form of our personal behavior, our sharing of our wealth, giving assistance with our abilities and our influence, or praying to Allah on their behalf. We need to especially consider the disenfranchised, the widows and orphans, and the poor. 

The Prophet (peace be upon us) said:

There was a merchant who used to extend credit to people. If he found one of his customers to be in straightened means, he would say to his assistants: “Forgive them their debt, perhaps Allah will forgive us.” Allah did forgive him. [Sahīh al-Bukhārī(2078) and Sahīh Muslim (1562)]

Pardon, tolerance, and magnanimity should exemplify the way we treat one another. We should be willing to overlook the faults of others. We should even be willing at times to waive some of our rights. We should not always demand everything that is due to us. All relationships are a matter of give and take. 

This applies to everyone we have dealings with. It is the way things should be between the husband and wife, between parents and children, between teachers and students, and between governors and the governed. In each of these relationships, there are clearly defined rights and duties, and we should do our best to fulfill them. However, in every relationship, people fass short at times. Forgiveness, forbearance, and pardon bring harmony and love into our relationships. 

Imagine a marriage based solely on accounting for rights and obligations. Would there be any love or mercy in such a marriage, any room for tenderness and affection? 

Tolerance and magnanimity, stabilize those relationships and bolster the esteem and human worth that people have for one another. By Allah’s grace, these qualities make our dealings more successful, and certainly make our dealings more pleasing to Allah.

Source: http://en.islamtoday.net/artshow-242-3529.htm

How to Make ourselves cry for Fear of Allah

Question

I am a man and I never cry. How can I make my eyes weep for fear of Allah in accordance with the hadeeth: “Two eyes that will never be touched by the Fire” in which it mentions “The eye that weeps for fear of Allah”? May Allah reward you with good.

Answer

Praise be to Allah. Undoubtedly your feelings of regret for missing out on this blessing is a very good sign. You should note that the Muslim can accustom himself to weep for fear of Allah, by doing the following:

1. Making yourself feel fear of Allah. This weeping is the fruit of beneficial knowledge, as al-Qurtubi says in his commentary on the verse (interpretation of the meaning):

   “And they fall down on their faces weeping” [al-Isra’ 17:109]

   This is an eloquent description of them and praise for them. It is the duty of everyone who acquires knowledge to reach this level, so that when he hears the Qur’an he is filled with fear and humility. In Musnad al-Daarimi it is narrated from Abu Muhammad that al-Taymi said:   Whoever is given knowledge and does not weep, he deserves not to have any knowledge, because Allah has described those who have knowledge; then he recited this verse. Al-Jaami’ li Ahkaam il-Qur’an, 10/341-342.
2. Reading the Qur'an and pondering its meanings Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

   “Say (O Muhammad to them): Believe in it (the Qur’an) or do not believe (in it). Verily, those who were given knowledge before it, when it is recited to them, fall down on their faces in humble prostration. 108. And they say: Glory be to our Lord! Truly, the Promise of our Lord must be fulfilled. 109. And they fall down on their faces weeping and it increases their humility” [al-Isra’ 17:107-109]

   “Those were they unto whom Allah bestowed His Grace from among the Prophets, of the offspring of Adam, and of those whom We carried (in the ship) with Nooh (Noah), and of the offspring of Ibraaheem (Abraham) and Israel, and from among those whom We guided and chose. When the Verses of the Most Gracious (Allah) were recited unto them, they fell down prostrate and weeping” [Maryam 19:58]

   It was narrated that Ibn Mas’ood (may Allah be pleased with him) said:

   The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to me: “Recite the Qur’an to me.” I said: “O Messenger of Allah, shall I recite it to you when it was revealed to you?” He said: “I like to hear it from someone else.” So I recited Soorat al-Nisa’ to him, and when I reached this verse – “How (will it be) then, when We bring from each nation a witness and We bring you (O Muhammad) as a witness against these people?” [al-Nisa’ 4:41] – he said: “That is enough for now.” I turned to him and saw his eyes were streaming with tears. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5050; Muslim, 800.
3. Knowing the greatness of the reward for weeping, especially when one is alone. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said:

   The Messenger of Allah (S) said: “A man who weeps for fear of Allah will not enter Hell until the milk goes back into the udder, and dust produced (when fighting) for the sake of Allah and the smoke of Hell will never coexist.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1633; al-Nasaa’i, 3108; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani.

   “until the milk goes back into the udder” is a metaphor for it being impossible, as in the verse where Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

   “and they will not enter Paradise until the camel goes through the eye of the needle” [al-A’raaf 7:40].

   Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi. And it was narrated that he said:

   The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “There are seven whom Allah will shade with His shade on the day when there will be no shade but His: a just ruler; a young man who grows up worshipping Allah; a man whose heart is attached to the mosque; two men who love one another for the sake of Allah, meeting and parting on that basis; a man who is called (to commit sin) by a woman of high status and great beauty and he says, ‘I fear Allah’; a man who gives in charity so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand is doing; and a man who remembers Allah when he is alone and his eyes flow with tears.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 660; Muslim, 1031.

   Weeping when alone is singled out because being alone is a time when the heart tends to become harder and there is a stronger motive to commit sin, and it is farthest removed from the possibility of showing off. So if a person strives to do this, and makes himself feel the greatness and might of Allah, and his eyes flow with tears, then he deserves to be beneath the shade of the Throne of the Most Merciful on the Day when there will be no shade but His shade.
4. Thinking about your situation and your boldness in committing sin, and fearing to meet Allah in such a state. One of the righteous people used to weep night and day, and something was said to him about that. He said:

   “I am afraid that Allah will see me committing sin and will say: ‘Go away from Me for I am angry with you.’”

   Hence Sufyaan used to weep and say:

   “I am afraid that my faith will be taken away at the moment of death.”

   Ismaa’eel ibn Zakariya described Habeeb ibn Muhammad, who was a neighbour of his. He said:

   “Every evening I heard him weeping and every morning I heard him weeping, so I went to his wife and said: ‘What is the matter with him? He weeps in the evening and he weeps in the morning!’ She said to me: ‘By Allah, when evening comes he fears that he will not live till morning and when morning comes he fears that he will not live till evening.’”

   The salaf used to weep and grieve a great deal. When Yazeed al-Raqaashi was criticized for weeping a great deal and it was said to him,

   “If the Fire had been created exclusively for you, you would not weep more than this,” he said: “Has the Fire been created for anyone other than me and my companions and brothers among the jinn and mankind?”

   When ‘Ata’ al-Sulaymi was asked:

   “What is this grief?” he said: “Woe to you! Death is close at hand, the grave is my house, on the Day of Resurrection I will stand and my path is over a bridge across Hell, and I do not know what will become of me.”

   Faddalah ibn Sayfi used to weep a great deal. A man entered upon him when he was weeping and said to his wife:

   “What is the matter with him?” She said: “He says that he wants to undertake a long journey and he does not have proper provision for it.”

   One night al-Hasan woke up weeping, and he disturbed the other people in the house with his weeping. They asked him what was the matter and he said:

   “I remembered a sin that I committed and I wept.”

   It was narrated that Tameem al-Daari (may Allah be pleased with him) recited this verse (interpretation of the meaning):

   “Or do those who earn evil deeds think that We shall hold them equal with those who believe (in the Oneness of Allah Islamic Monotheism) and do righteous good deeds” [al-Jaathiyah 45:21]

   and he started repeating it and weeping until morning came. Hudhayfah (may Allah be pleased with him) used to weep intensely, and it was said to him:

   “Why are you weeping?” He said: “I do not know what is ahead of me – Divine pleasure or divine wrath.”

   Sa’d ibn al-Akhram said:

   I was walking with Ibn Mas’ood and he passed by the blacksmiths, who had brought a piece of iron out of the fire. He stood and looked at the molten iron and wept.
5. Making yourself feel regret and feeling that you have fallen short in your duties towards Allah. The tears of the repentant at night quenches thirst and cure sickness, as the Shaykh of the Mufassireen, Abu Ja’far al-Tabari, said in his commentary on the verse (interpretation of the meaning):

   “Do you then wonder at this recitation (the Qur’an)? 60. And you laugh at it and weep not” [al-Najm 53:59-60]

   Do not weep at the warnings contained therein to those who disobey Allah, when you are people who commit sin,

   “Wasting your (precious) lifetime in pastime and amusements (singing)” [al-Najm 53:61]

   – you are heedless of the lessons and reminders contained therein, turning away from its verses. Jaami’ al-Bayaan ‘an Ta’weel Aayi al-Qur’an, 27/82.
6. Weeping out of fear of a bad end. It was narrated that Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said:

   When the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) passed by al-Hijr (the land of the people of Thamood) he said: “Do not enter the dwellings of those who wronged themselves, lest what befell them befall you, unless you are weeping.” Then the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) covered his head and walked quickly until he had left the valley. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3380; Muslim, 2980.

   Al-Nawawi included this hadeeth in a chapter entitled “Weeping and feeling fear when passing by the graves of the wrongdoers and the places where they were killed, and expressing one's need of Allah, and being careful not to be negligent in that.”
   Riyaadh al-Saaliheen, p. 373.
7. Listening to moving speeches and lectures that will soften the heart. It was narrated that al-‘Irbaad ibn Saariyah (may Allah be pleased with him), who was one of those who used to weep, said:

   “The Messenger of Allah delivered a deeply moving speech at which our eyes began to overflow and our hearts melted.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2676; Abu Dawood, 4607; Ibn Maajah, 42; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani.

May Allah help us and you to do that which our Lord loves and is pleased with him.

Daughters in Islam

Allaah Almighty says (what means): “To Allaah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth; He creates what He wills. He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males. Or He makes them [both] males and females, and He renders whom He wills barren. Indeed, He is Knowing and Competent.”[Quran 49:50] Allaah is the One, based on His ultimate wisdom, who grants whomever He wills sons and daughters; He grants sons only to whomever He wills, and grants daughters only to whomever He wills, and if He so wills, He makes whomever He wills infertile.

We notice in the above verse that the mention of daughters preceded that of sons, and the scholars  commented on this saying: “This is to hearten daughters and encourage kindness towards them, because many fathers feel burdened by receiving a daughter. The common practice of the people during the pre-Islamic era was to hate receiving daughters, to the extent that they would bury them alive; therefore, it is as if Allaah is saying to people: `This inferior child in your estimation takes precedence in My scale.' He also mentions daughters first to indicate their weakness, and that they are therefore more deserving of care and attention.”

Such honouring of daughters is the complete opposite of how people were accustomed to dealing with females in the pre-Islamic era, when they would degrade women and consider them a part of their wealth, and if news of a baby girl would come to any of them, it would be as if he was hit by a thunderstorm; Allaah says (what means): which means: “And when one of them is informed of [the birth of] a female, his face becomes dark, and he suppresses grief. He hides himself from the people because of the ill of which he has been informed. Should he keep it in humiliation or bury it in the ground?  Unquestionably, evil is what they decide.” [Quran 58:59]

It is said that some enemies of Qays ibn ‘Aasim At-Tameemi, who was a pre-Islamic Arab, attacked his premises and captured his daughter. Later, one of these enemies married her. After some time, the clan of Qays and that of his enemies reconciled, so they gave this daughter of his the freedom to go back to her father or remain with her husband, and she preferred to stay with her husband. At that point, Qays took a pledge upon himself to bury alive any new daughter that he would receive, and the Arabs imitated him after that. It was, therefore, this man who introduced this evil practice, and thus he will shoulder his own sin as well as the sin of all those who did it thereafter.

One of the companions  who had killed his daughter in the era that preceded Islam narrated his story: "We would worship idols in the pre-Islamic era and kill our daughters. I had a daughter, who, when she was old enough to comprehend and talk, would rejoice whenever she saw me and would immediately respond. One day, I called her and told her to follow me, so she did, until we reached a well that belonged to my tribe. I then took her by her hand and threw her in the well, and the last thing I heard her cry was: ‘O father! O father!'" (Ad-Daarimi)

During the era that preceded Islam, there were two methods that people used to kill their daughters:

· At the time of the delivery of the child, a man would order his wife to give birth next to a hole dug in the ground; if the newborn was a male, she would return home with him, otherwise, she would throw her into the pit and bury her alive, or:

· When the daughter reached six years of age, the man would tell his wife to adorn and perfume her, then he would take her to a well in the desert and tell her to look down into the well; when she would do this, he would push her into it from behind.

There were some men among these people who would forbid such acts, such as Sa’sa’ah ibn Naajiyah At-Tameemi, who would go to those attempting to kill their daughter offering money to ransom their lives.

There are people nowadays who share these same pre-Islamic beliefs; if they are granted only girls, which is of course something decreed only by Allaah, they become angry, discontent and grieved.

With the advent of Islam, the darkness of that era vanished and Allaah enjoined kindness, love and compassion towards girls. Taking good care of girls was encouraged, as was giving them special attention in the process of their upbringing. In fact, Islam has designated a special reward for raising them that is not granted for raising sons. Anas  reported that the Prophet  said: "He who raises two daughters until their puberty will be with me in Paradise like this", and he symbolized the proximity by showing two of his fingers with a slight gap between them." (Muslim)

`Aa’ishah  related: "A woman by the name of Jameelah came to me with her two daughters. She asked me for charity but found nothing with me except a date, which I gave her. She divided it between her two daughters and ate nothing herself; then, she got up and left. After this, the Messenger of Allaah  came, so I narrated this story to him; he said: “He who is involved (in the responsibility) of (nurturing) daughters and is generous to them, will have them as a fortification for himself against the Hellfire.” (Al-Bukhaari & Muslim) In another narration of this incident, `Aa’ishah  related: "A poor woman came to me with her two daughters. I gave her three dates; she gave each of them a date and was about to eat the third one when one of her daughters asked her for it, so she divided it between her two daughters and ate nothing herself, and I liked what she did. After this, the Messenger of Allaah  came, so I told him what she did, and he  said: 'Allaah obligated Paradise for her due to this date, and (also) freed her from Hell.'"(Muslim)

Pay close attention to wording of the following narration: the Prophet said: “He who is tested by (the guardianship) of daughters….” Why did he  use the word: “…tested…”? He said it because raising them is a responsibility and a test from Allaah to see how His slave would act: Will he be kind to them? Will he raise them correctly?

The nature of this responsibility was further clarified in other narrations, such as: “If he patiently feeds them and endows them with clothing …"(Ibn Maajah)., and:  “…Provides for them and marries them off…” (At-Tabaraani)., and: “…Properly raises them and fears Allaah in the manner in which he deals with them.” (At-Tirmithi)

This is what is required when dealing with daughters: kindness, which results in Paradise, as the Prophet  said: “Whoever Allaah has given two daughters and is kind towards them, will have them as a reason for him to be admitted into Paradise.” And: “Whoever Allaah has given three daughters and he perseveres through raising them, will have them as a shield for him from the Hellfire on the Day of Resurrection.”

A daughter is a great bounty and an honour granted by Allaah, Imaam Al-Hasan  said: “Girls are a source of reward and sons are a blessing; rewards are in one's favour (on the Day of Judgement) whereas one will be held accountable for blessings.”

Thus, it is incorrect to believe that one has been humiliated by being granted a girl; rather it is an honour, a bounty and a gate towardsParadise. Daughters are a greate responsibility to rear, and entail greater expenditure, and this is why the reward for raising them correctly is greater than that for a son.

Once, one of the leaders of the believers was receiving people when a small daughter of his entered the room, so he kissed her; a Bedouin was also in attendance and saw this, so he mentioned daughters in a very evil manner. A wise man who was also present witnessed all of this and therefore said:"O leader of the believers! Do not listen to him. I swear by Allaah, that it is they (i.e., girls) who stay up to care for the sick in the family, who show mercy towards the elders, and who stand next to men during hardships."

A man was granted a baby girl, so he became angry and isolated himself from his wife for a long time, and after few months, he overheard his wife reciting the verse (which means): “…But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you…” [Quran 2:216]

How many girls have been far more merciful and beneficial to their parents than their brothers? How many times has a son been a source of grief for his parents, to the point that they wished he was never born?

Why do we raise this topic now? It is due to the vicious attacks on the Muslims under the pretext of defending 'women’s rights' which is in reality an evil attempt to play on the emotions of women so that they will become rebellious towards their fathers and husbands, and to encourage them to leave their homes and demand their 'freedom'. This is a gate towards evil and immorality which gradually attracts women and then traps them in prohibitions. One cause of girls falling into this is people neglecting their daughters and undermining their rights, which makes them easily fall into the traps of the hypocritical writers and columnists, male and female, who wish to see corruption prevail.

It is enough of an honour for girls that the Prophets may Allaah exalt their mention, had daughters and that most of the children of our beloved Prophet  were daughters, namely: Zaynab, Ruqayyah, Umm Kalthoom and Faatimah .

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The fruit of raising daughters righteously is reward in this life before reward in the Hereafter; this is proved by the fact that Allaah rewarded the righteous man who raised his two daughters virtuously, the result being Him facilitating the marriage of one of them to the honourable Prophet Moosaa .

The Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam would express his love for his daughters by, for example, making statements like “(My daughter) Faatimah is a part of me, so whoever angers her angers me.” (Al-Bukhaari & Muslim)

‘Aa'ishah  recounted that Faatimah  once came walking in a manner identical to that of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam; When she arrived, he  stood up and exclaimed: “Welcome, my daughter!” Then, he seated her to his side and whispered into her ear, and what he had said caused her to cry; then, he  then whispered to her again, and she laughed. 'Aa'ishah  later asked her: "What made you weep and then laugh?" She  replied: "I will never expose a secret that the Prophet  entrusted me with." After the death of the Prophet  'Aa'ishah  asked her the same questions again, so she answered: "First, he informed me that his death was near, so I cried. After that, he told me that I will be the leader of the ladies ofParadise, so I laughed." (Al-Bukhaari & Muslim)

'Aa'ishah  said: “I have not seen anyone closer in physical appearance and character to the Prophet  than his daughter Faatimah  … Whenever she would enter into his presence, he would stand up and seat her in his place, and whenever he  would enter into her presence, she would stand up, kiss him, and seat him in her place.”

This is how he  cared for his daughters. Zaynab  who was another daughter of the Prophet  sent for him due to her child being close to death, but the Prophet  sent the messenger back to her, telling him to tell her: "Whatever Allaah takes away or gives, belongs to Him, and everything with Him has a limited fixed term (in this world); and she should therefore be patient and anticipate Allaah's reward.'' She sent for him again, pleading with him for the sake of Allaah to come. Therefore, the Messenger of Allaah  went, accompanied by Sa`d bin `Ubaadah, Mu`aath bin Jabal, Ubayy bin Ka`b, Zayd bin Thaabit and others . The child was lifted up to the Messenger of Allaah  while breathing heavily, in the last moments before his death. Upon seeing this, the eyes of the Prophet sallallaahu'alayhi wa sallam streamed with tears as a result of compassion that Allaah had placed in his heart. Due to this, Allaah caused the boy to be cured, as Imaam Ibn Hajar  stated.

The Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam would carry Umaamah during prayer whilst standing, and place her on the ground before prostrating. (Al-Bukhaari)

Once, Faatimah  complained to him  about suffering due to strenuous housework, and that it was causing her hands to roughen and develop marks; he  therefore taught her to mention Allaah before going to bed by uttering 'Subhaan-Allaah' (i.e., glory be to Allaah) and 'Al-Hamdulillaah' (i.e., all praise be to Allaah) thirty-three times each, and thirty-four times 'Allaahu Akbar' (i.e., Allaah is the Greatest); he  told her that this would be better for her than the assistance of a servant.

Also, when the family of Abu Jahl requested ‘Ali  to marry their daughter, he  refused and said: “Never will the daughter of the messenger of Allaah and the daughter of the enemy of Allaah be under (the guardianship of) one man. Faatimah is a part of me, and whoever saddens her has harmed me.” He  later stood up and explained to the people that he was not making unlawful what Allaah made lawful, nor was he forbidding polygamy, but rather, he did what he did due to Faatimah being the daughter of a messenger, which is a special case, since no one is permitted to harm the Messenger .

Faatimah  was courageous and proud of Islam. In the incident when her father  was praying in front of the Ka’bah and the disbelievers placed the guts of a camel on his head whilst he was prostrating and then laughed and mocked him, it was she  who came, by herself, and screamed at the disbelievers and then removed the guts. (Muslim)

This is how the life of the Prophet  was regarding dealing with his daughters, so let us make it a guideline by which we live.

Some people are truly hardhearted, to the point that they do not express any emotions toward their children. It is a disaster when a daughter is raised in such an emotional vacuum, because it is easy for any evil person to then affect her with his deceptive words and entice her into his trap, and this is how the calamity of fornication occurs. This is why we need to pay close attention to the issue of daughters and grant them their due consideration, especially when we live in an era where everything evil is available and within reach.

It is indeed a great responsibility to satiate the emotions of our daughters with the love they need from the hearts of their merciful fathers, lest evil men do this instead to achieve their vile objectives.

We must also give the same level of attention to our sons in this regard, because the problems we hear regarding our young men are due to the negligence of their parents. What is our role? It is, as Allaah says (what means): “O you who have believed! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allaah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.” [Quran 66: 6] We must soften their hearts with a warm smile whenever we see them, and speak to them with merciful words.

If we do not pay attention to this issue, a day will come when our communities will be just like the immoral and dissolute ones.

A British survey of two thousand fathers found that: “Forty-percent (40%) of fathers feel lonely and depressed. They miss their sons, but miss their daughters a lot more.”

Some contemporary hypocrites who write in newspapers and magazines state that our daughters do not need guardians. They oppose to the Law of Allaah in general, and specifically the ruling that prohibits intermixing between men and women; they demand that women leave their homes and 'prove their ability'. Why do these hypocrites wish to eradicate our honour? This mandates even more care and attention towards our daughters; we must raise them upon obedience to Allaah and His messenger  and upon adherence to the Hijaab; we must not wait till they reach the age of puberty to instruct them wear it, because it might then be too late for them to accept it.

Some parents allow their daughters to wear dresses that are revealing and which leave them naked, or almost naked, and this is a far cry from correct cultivation. It is not a reflection of love or mercy to our daughters to allow them to have their own mobile phone, or to have a satellite receiver in their rooms. It is not a sign of love or mercy to allow them to go to places where immorality is spread, or to parties, or salons where they pluck their eyebrows, adorn themselves and then go out like that.

We must convince our daughters that these matters are prohibited and that they must refrain from doing them, but in order to convince them, they must experience our love and see it in our dealings with them.

http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/index.php?page=articles&id=140381